Fri 23 May 2008
We here at Food Court Lunch are pretty big fans of Deadspin, but we are constantly frustrated by their ongoing “Media Approval Ratings” series. In the series, Deadspin selects high profile sports media personalities and has its readers vote on whether they approve or disapprove of the personality in question. It’s quick, it’s easy and it provides an efficient segue into dick jokes by the commenters. What more do you want from an article? Well, the truth is, a lot more. Where are the Canadians? We Canadians have no fucking clue who most of these media people are. We don’t get ESPN. We get TSN. We get Sportsnet. We get the Score. As such, we are taking matters into our own hands. And by “taking matters into our own hands”, we mean that we are blatantly infringing on the intellectual property of Deadspin and the Gawker Media Group and stealing the “Media Approval Ratings” concept for ourselves. However, we are doing it “Canadian-style”. That means more maple syrup, British spelling and the correct pronounciation of “niche”. (Seriously, when is “nitch” a fucking word?)
Our first “Can”-didate is the lovely Jennifer Hedger, a SportsCentre anchor on TSN.
If only we were a few years younger, richer, better looking and had a personality…we would have snapped her up when we had the chance. Oh, you’re saying we never had a chance? I have a hand down my trousers and an active imagination that fervently disagree. The comely Ms. Hedger had an interesting debut on Canadian television — she was a reality TV contestant (well, resident) on Life Network’s U8TV – The Lofters.
This is my generation. (Silent weeping)
Amazingly, she parlayed that appearance into the role of anchor on SportsCentre, where she does a remarkably competent job. If only other reality show participants could make the transition as smoothly as she did (although we did hear that Richard Hatch just killed as MC of a federal prison fashion show). Gourmet Spud doesn’t like her voice, but fuck him. He discounts any vocal sound that doesn’t have an Irish lilt and a drunken slur. Ms. Hedger is married to a rival sports anchor, Sean McCormick of Sportsnet. This is the Canadian equivalent of Chris Berman dating…is there another sports network in the U.S. besides ESPN? My analogy is falling apart. Chris Berman dating Jillian Barberie? That doesn’t work. I’m pretty sure Barberie doesn’t date anyone. She just mates, drags her partner into the forest and eats him. She almost killed Elisha Cuthbert in Season 2 of “24”.
The last image that an estimated sixteen men in the 25- to 35-year-old age category ever saw. Their corpses were covered with claw-marks, lipstick and cosmo stains.
Anyway, let us know your thoughts on Ms. Hedger — approve or disapprove?
(Oh, before you vote, perhaps this will persuade you one way or another)
Please be sure to vote on behalf of yourself and your inflamed loins.