Mon 5 May 2008
Last week the Hudson’s Bay Company (or “HBC” or “The Bay” to those in the know) revealed the Canadian team uniforms for the upcoming Beijing Olympics. Given that HBC is the oldest company in North America (it began as a fur trading company in the 17th century), we had initially thought that the uniforms would be done in a conservative, traditional fashion. I mean, look at the Canadian uniform from the 2006 Torino Winter Games:
Ever since HBC was awarded the uniform contract instead of Roots, there have been some questionable choices made with respect to these outfits. How is it going to be different this time? Tell us, Suzanne Timmins, Olympic designer:
“We really brought fashion to the Olympics,” says a chuffed Suzanne Timmins, fashion director of The Bay.
Bold talk, woman. What makes it so damn fashionable?
“We all see Kanye West in this outfit,” jokes Timmins.
Kanye West? He certainly is fashionable. Those glasses he wears are all the rage now. I myself own several pairs.
We were sceptical. Cynical. We were expecting the worst. Instead, we here at Food Court Lunch were blown away the choices made by HBC. Daring, outrageous, futuristic…
ZUBAZ!!!!
HBC made a wise choice with respect to these uniforms. Never mind all of that high-falutin’ fashion talk — put yourselves in the shoes (or pants) of the average sports fan. What would that sports fan want to wear when he’s going to the mall, tail-gating before a game, or being arrested on spousal assault charges? I think the answer is obvious.
When our athletes parade through Beijing’s Olympic stadium looking like a white trash lynch mob, our hearts are going to soar with pride. The Maple Leaf and Zebra Stripe Forever. I have never been more proud of an item of Canadian clothing (except perhaps for that Bolero hat I stole off of Mitsou).
Oh, the uniforms weren’t even made in Canada?
That’s even better. That increases the possibility that the pants are made from real zebra. Either that or some sort of toxic, lead-based fabric. Either way, people will be talking about Canada, and that’s all we really care about.
May 5th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I could be wrong, but I think I was called out by one of the Canadian Olympic athletes while waiting in line for a urinal at a Buffalo Bills game last winter.
May 5th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
As I mentioned to 100% Injury Rate, having the Canadian athletes wear Zubaz will most likely lead to a Tiananmen-like incident in which an inebriated field hockey player from Squamish faces down a tank while hurling full cans of Labatt’s Blue at it. It is not going to end well.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Now more reason than ever to boycott the Olympics.
May 6th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
[…] Olympic Zubaz Outfits Check out the official Canadian Olympic outfits. It is either fashionable futuristic Canadian-Chinese fusion, or head to toe zubaz. Apparently […]
May 7th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
i have to say, at least these outfits don’t make them look as fucking pretentious as the American Polo outfits. Apparently we all live in New England and were part of the same college club sailing team.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/5742461.html
this is the only link i could get that wasn’t from a gay blog. apparently they are “inspired” by chariots of fire? nothing like modeling yourself after another countries’ team to really bring the patriotism to the Olympics.
ps- i love that Zubaz spammed you
May 26th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
[…] that’s who. They’re right, you know. Bloggers are cruel. […]
July 15th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
[…] So what’s the solution to this systemic injustice? While one option would be for Canada to boycott the Games entirely until the problem is rectified, historical performance suggests that we have already boycotted podium appearances. To boycott the Games themselves would simply deprive our athletes on the opportunity to get jiggy with it in our fresh new Zubaz. […]
August 9th, 2008 at 11:30 am
DKIng: the RL US Olympic outifts were copied from the outfits that athletes wore in the 30s when EVERYONE wore a suit to the opening ceremonies. (Hitler’s uniform/suit for the 1939 Olympics was designed by Hugo Boss….). It figures that some kind of smarmy back-room politics got in the way, otherwise how can you possibly justify the fashion abortion that can only describe the Canadian uniform? When ROOTS designed for past Olympics all the other athletes scrambled to wear it - now they will all run from it in horror. Or else point and laugh…..SHAME on HBC!