November 16, 2006 - April 20, 2008

I wonder what ”Weird Al” Yankovic would have to say about this? 

Jays cut Big Hurt today
No bat, and could not field
Think of all the cash they’ll save
Just on the post-game meal

They’ll need to fill a hole
Is there someone they can sign
That is a walking double play
And hits below, the Mendoza Line?

You can have him, A.L.
This well-paid pile of dirt
They paid him nineteen mil
That is one big hurt

Say, that wasn’t so hard.  So where’s my lego figurine from the “Like a Surgeon” video?

But seriously, we wish you the best, gentle giant.  Toronto will remember you as a class act, a ridiculous waste of money, and as the freakishly large guy who wasn’t involved in a PED scandal.