It would be painfully obvious to any reader who accidentally stumbles upon our humble website, but it’s worth noting once again that the editors of Food Court Lunch operate this blog as a not-for-profit website (ed. note: actually, we operate at a $150 loss). 

This puts Food Court Lunch in the prestigious 0.000001% of websites not designed as vehicles for margin advertisements for hipster t-shirts or porn.  It’s all part of our commitment to provide our readers with the best in free sports- and Canadian progressive politics-related comedy. 

Granted, the fact that Food Court Lunch doesn’t produce any income can make life difficult for your editors.  Marriages become strained to the breaking point, bills go unpaid, and embarrassing medical conditions are exarcerbated with hilarious consequences.  

Naturally, each of the editors of Food Court Lunch is forced to maintain actual, gainful employment in order to survive.  For some of us, this can impact our ability to devote the time necessary to craft the comedic oeuvres to which you have become accustomed.  For instance, due to my employer’s draconian internet use policy, I am writing this post via the text browser on my cellphone while crouched in a broom closet behind the car hoist.

But rest assured: the fact that we all have day jobs doesn’t mean we’re not fully committed to our readership.  In fact, the editors of Food Court Lunch closely monitor the reading habits of our viewership to tailor our posts to their needs.  Indeed, as a result of extensive work with focus groups, we’ve been able to identify some of the particular likes and dislikes of our readers.

 For example, we know that you love posts about awkward television commercials involving robotic sports stars shaving each other, as well as posts that bring into question the veracity of professional wrestling.  On the flip side, we know that you dislike posts about Elton John, xenophobic municipal politicians, and God help anyone who dares question the automobile supremacy of the Pontiac Parisienne.

But perhaps most telling about our humble blog is the list of search terms that brings readers to Food Court Lunch.  These search terms say a lot about the minds behind a website, and in the case of Food Court Lunch, these search terms reveal that we are juvenile, unfocused, and morally corrupt:

Top 20 of 1993 Total Search Strings
# Hits Search String
1 574 7.54% motley crue
2 293 3.85% ringo star
3 242 3.18% ringo starr
4 241 3.17% schoolgirl
5 161 2.11% peeing
6 151 1.98% jaleel white
7 139 1.83% blue jays
8 133 1.75% pearl harbour
9 131 1.72% kamala
10 123 1.62% blue jay
11 117 1.54% motley crew
12 115 1.51% nickelback
13 109 1.43% tatanka
14 105 1.38%

politician
15 80 1.05% madden brothers
16 72 0.95% benji madden
17 72 0.95% blackface
18 63 0.83% stripper
19 61 0.80% lazy eye
20 57 0.75% phil mickelson illegitimate child

What a proud day for this group of community college grads.  And congratulations to you readers, too, and good luck with your boolean searches for “blackface strippers with lazy eyes” and “Tatanka peeing on Benji Madden”.  After all, it is ultimately your schizophrenic internet searches that make Food Court Lunch what it is: a not-for-profit money pit.