Hi there. We noticed you looking over just a minute ago, so we thought we’d come over and introduce ourselves.  We’re the 2008 Toronto Blue Jays.  And if you don’t mind, we’d like a moment of your time to tell you a bit about ourselves.

Have you ever thought, Wouldn’t it be great if there was a baseball team that shared my Canadian values? Well, you’re in luck.  The Blue Jays are just like your favourite American baseball teams, but we’re from Canada.  There’s no use beating around the bush - we want to be your baseball team, and we’d prefer not to take no for an answer.

 Now, we hear what you’re saying; If the Blue Jays are so great, why haven’t I heard of them?  That’s a good point.  But please don’t be misguided by popular misconceptions.  After all, you’ve probably never heard of a maple syrup-based sports beverage, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be delicious.

What’s that you said?  All your friends are either fans of the New York Yankees or the Boston Red Sox?  Well, it’s no surprise that your friends chose those teams; after all, the Yankees and Red Sox are great teams with storied pasts.  But we think we’re pretty special, too.  And if you’re looking for a polite and satisfactorily competitive team to root for, you’d be hard pressed to do better than the 2008 Blue Jays. 

It’s no secret: Today’s baseball fans aren’t interested in seeing dazzling, larger-than-life superstars with outsized egos clearing the bases with towering home runs.  No, we know that you’re hungry for quiet contributors who play the game with the workmanlike respect it demands.  You’re looking for blandly efficient power pitchers, plucky overachievers and deceptively mediocre, doubles-hitting first basemen.  You want to cheer for gritty yet largely ineffective catchers, lumberjack-like utility outfielders and scrappy 98-pound weaklings.  Heck, as long as we’re being honest, we might as well say it: You’re looking for as many white players as possible, or at least black players who act like white players.  We understand.  That’s why we’ve assembled a roster that is unmatched in its reflection of the Canadian persona: respectful, inoffensive, and predisposed to disheartening-yet-strangely-comforting 4th place finishes. 

Steroid scandal? No thanks.  That’s not the Blue Jay way.  In fact, we’re in the midst of revamping our infield to maintain our excellent reputation, even if it costs us offensive firepower.  We’re just that committed to almost making the post-season.  And Roger Clemens? No need to worry about him.  He won’t even return our calls.

Did you know that we actually won two World Series back to back in the nineties?  In one of them, Joe Carter actually hit a series-ending home run!  Can you believe that? Most people forget about that, but not us. In fact, we’ve been selling tickets for the last 15 years based solely on the collective nostalgia from that one shining moment.  Those were good times….

You want to talk about exciting baseball games?  Most people think “exciting baseball game” is an oxymoron, like “WNBA highlights” or “cultural blog“.  But those people haven’t been to a Blue Jays game at Rogers Centre - it’s just like the stadiums for some of the better known American teams, but with a twist: It’s a convertible!  That’s right: the roof actually comes off.  And let me tell you - you haven’t heard anything until you’ve heard the barely-audible roar of 30,000 Blue Jays fans nodding in approval to the action on the field.  It’s almost like a funeral for the opposing team!

What’s that? Why did we pick the Blue Jay as our mascot?  Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?  You see, the Blue Jay is a playful bird known for its upbeat chirp and colourful plumage.  It thrives by picking on smaller birds while avoiding conflict with more powerful enemies.  Similarly, the Toronto Blue Jays routinely get 70 to 75 wins a season at the hands of the Baltimore Orioles and Tampa Bay Devil Rays, all while attempting to avoid the more powerful Yankees and Red Sox.  We think you’ll agree that it makes for a pretty exciting season!

So if you’re looking for baseball team to get behind, why not us?  We guarantee that we’ll give our best effort in every game, and if you go in with the right expectations, you probably won’t be disappointed.  We’re hoping 2008 will be another season of personal bests!

The 2008 Toronto Blue Jays: Why can’t we be your team?