In our never-ending quest to protect our reader(s) from bodily harm, Food Court Lunch proudly (and indirectly) presents former UFC Heavyweight Champion Bas Rutten’s Street Defense.

In answer to your obvious questions:

1. Yes, it is crucial that all strikes are accompanied by angry bell sounds;
2. Yes, a surprise throat-stabbing is a recognized defense to murder; and
3. If it isn’t obvious, whatever you do, never, EVER approach Bas Rutten. Not even to ask for the time.

Happy studying.