Thu 28 Jan 2010
An Insightful Look at the Headlines that Shape Your World

Intruder in Susan Boyle’s Home Treated to Inspiring Wail
Say what you will about Susan Boyle, but she is one ugly lady.

That Time of the Month? Stop It With the iPad Jokes Already
I’d buy one of these, but I don’t feel like doing all of my computing on a Ms. Pacman table.

Men Don’t Cheat Because Wives are Ugly; They Cheat Because Thai Ladyboys are So Approachable
I would encourage all concerned wives to get themselves a copy of John Edwards’ seminal autobiography, Gettin’ Strange.
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‘Avatar’ Called Anti-Military, Anti-Faith, Pro-Smurf
Judging by its nearly 3-hour running time, Avatar is also Anti-Urination.

Better With Age? Seniors Report Spicy, Unappetizing, Sex Life
Hint: It’s like two flesh handbags exchanging glances.

A Mother’s Touch? Nebraska Woman Charged for Having Sex with Teenage Son
Son? It’s about time we had a talk about the birds and the bees. Oh, I see. Your mother covered that already.

NAMBLA Travel Guide: The Art of Taking an Infant’s Passport Photo
Two allusions to incest in a row! This calls for a delicious Burger King Big King Sandwich and a rum and Coke made with refreshing Appleton Estates Rum!
January 28th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
I assume that last photo is for Baby Gorbachev’s diplomatic passport.
January 28th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
The biggest headline you missed is that my ultimate fantasy of having a threesome with Susan Boyle and Zelda Rubinstein is no longer possible.
January 28th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
Still possible, Wahoo, just different.
January 28th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Jesus. I punch a baby once, and you jerks need to post the evidence?
January 31st, 2010 at 1:59 pm
They still have the Big King? These last 12 years feel so…wasted.
(This comment was previously published under the wrong post. My apologies.)
June 7th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Who cares if a woman and her son are having sex.More power to’m.
GO INCEST!