We’ve all heard the Canadian stereotypes before - we eat beaver for breakfast (true), we are polite (false, asshole), we live in igloos (true), we have no idea what we’re talking aboot most of the time (true?), we are insatiable sex machines (true, assuming “insatiable” means “disappointing”), we have sex with snowmen (true six months of the year). Of course, the most often cited stereotype involves the notion that Canadians live and breathe hockey. For the record, this is an utter falsehood (just look at 3 of the 4 members of this so-called website…). I don’t know where people come up with these preconceived notions of life in the Great White North, but they are wholly misinformed. It’s not as though the nation is salvating over a bunch of unknown 16 and 17 year-olds in practice jerseys in anticipation of finding out which acned teenager is going to make the Canadian Junior Team… Ok, perhaps we are.

You will note that the journalist described the 2000 fans in attendance for this year’s first inter-squad practice skate as “sparse”. Admittedly, the Jays would kill for an attendance of 2000 fans over the span of an entire season, but I suppose everything is relative. After all, this was a practice game held in downtown Regina, Saskatchewan. That’s basically the Canadian equivalent of the Rose Bowl (with fewer cheerleaders and more dog sleds).

For those not familiar with the World Junior Hockey Championships, they are as fundamental to the Canadian Holiday Season as Santa, backbacon, maple syrup and inappropriate touching. The competition begins on Boxing Day (or as it is known in the U.S., the “day that follows Christmas but has no particular designation of any significance”), and continues into the New Year. The WJHC also mark the only time of the year when I am permitted to express my passionate love for 17 year-old boys without being subject to censure… God bless us, everyone.

And so if you happen to find yourself in the greater Regina and/or Saskatoon area this Holiday Season, get out. If you cannot, I encourage you to partake in the WJHC festivities and to scream randomly at young boys. It may be the only time in your life when you can pull this off without facing criminal charges…

 Happy Holidays, everyone.