Thu 12 Nov 2009
A heartwarming look at the headlines clamoring for your attention

Montreal Designer Creates Sleek Sports Hijab as Clerics Declare Jihad on Sweaty Headdresses
Most people don’t know this, but Jacques Plante was the first goalie to ever wear the niqab.

Fast Food, Coffee to Escape New Blended Tax: Socialism Has Its Limits
I love Canadians. “You can tax the hell out of my income, but don’t you dare touch my Tim Horton’s! (or Lott’ry Winnin’s!)”

How a Halloween Get-up Went Badly Wrong: Here’s a Hint - It Melded Elements of “Blackface” and “Cool Runnings”
The best part of this story is how caught off-guard the university students are by all of the uproar. “We just wanted to faithfully recreate the characters from the Cool Runnings movie, and to do it justice we had to paint our faces black.” Makes sense to me.

Adjust Your Doomsday Calendars: Celine Dion Not Pregnant
It’s almost as if a svengali-like 78 year old man were never meant to procreate with a 44-year old praying mantis.

Palin’s Book Tour Steers Clear of Major Cities; Focuses on Bumpkin Population
I certainly hope for the organizer’s sake that there’s a “book-on-tape” version available as well.

Missing Canadian Teenager Survives Three Days on Ice Floe; Reinforces Commonly Held Stereotypes About Canada
Another commonly held but misguided stereotype about Canadians? That we like Wayne Gretzky.

Varitek Exercises Option, Will Stay with Red Sox; Red Sox: Hooray?
I’m amazed that the Red Sox are keeping him on, what with him hitting .187 and not even bothering to kneel behind home plate anymore.
November 12th, 2009 at 10:58 am
I certainly hope for the organizer’s sake that there’s a “book-on-tape” version available as well.
In three languages:
1) Alaska redneck
2) Southern redneck
3) Sultry “after dark” version
November 12th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Most people don’t know this, but Jacques Plante was the first goalie to ever wear the niqab.
Preach on.
And fuck Varitek.
November 12th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
If your going to post shit about soccer, it damn well better be about them hot (kinda) broads that get all frisky. MEOW!
November 12th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
I’m not your buddy, guy!
November 12th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Not pictured: polar bear back bacon, and huge tub of mayonnaise (for dippin’!).
Also, the Canada/US border, which is in easy walking distance from the ice floe.
November 12th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Why, I’m not your guy, fwiend!
/will never get old
November 13th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Sarah Palin, “author” of a book, has been known to sign copies using either a little X with a smiley face or a thumb print.
Reaction: “She’s just like us!”
November 13th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
The misconception being that we Canadians love, not like, Wayne Gretzky correct?
November 15th, 2009 at 12:10 am
You have a great sports blog. This is my first visit but I’m impressed. I have two sports blogs myself and I’d like to exchange links with you to spread some traffic around. Let me know if this is cool.
Jason
SportsSoundOff.net
SPORTSMONARCH.com