No, not an ill-timed erection, although as I understand it, there are scientific studies to support that it can happen to anyone and it has no bearing on sexual orientation. This happened again. It was a white guy this time, so my ill-founded racial theories were thrown out the window, along of course with my dignity and sense of personal space. I finished my shower and got out of there so fast that you would have thought that some guys decided to re-enact “Eastern Promises” in there.

Is this just me? I am torn between the idea of the guy doing it just being a random idiot who doesn’t know any better and the idea that I am about to be on the receiving end of some Larry Craig-style foot tapping. I don’t even know if that’s a euphemism. I feel like a Boy of St. Vincent now every time I try to clean up after going running. It serves me right for buying a membership at the Graham James Athletic Club. I thought it was odd when they asked me to oil up for my membership card photo — my suspicions are now confirmed.

I would assume that most adult men are trained in urinal spacing etiquette. Unless you are some sort of misanthropic hermit, you have to understand the need for men to keep some sort of spacial divide when it comes to bathroom-related matters. As such, I would assume that guys would extend their etiquette to public showers. Silly me. I thought it was normal for me to not be so close as to smell the soap other guys were applying. How gauche of me. Apply some to your back? Why, I’d be delighted! Lower? Lower still? But you’ve got so many other upper body parts that…oh, God, what have I become?

This does not bode well for winter. I am seriously thinking of going Never Nude until it gets warm enough to exercise outside again.