The wait is over!! My live update from my trip to Indianapolis is here! When we last left each other, I was looking for love in a Westin parking lot in downtown Indianapolis. Since then, I have had an opportunity to enjoy the many splendours of the metropolis that is Indy. On Tuesday, I attended the Pacers-Nuggets game at the vaunted Conseco Fieldhouse (I assume named for Jose). By way of quick overview, the Pacers looked liked the B-squad for the Canadian special olympics under-16 basketball team. The Nuggets did not. I don’t know if it was the 13 points the Pacers scored in the first quarter, or the fact that they trailed by double-digits the entire game, but it certainly was a magical evening.

pacers.jpg

As an aside, I actually watched a guy get mugged for his bus money on my way back to my hotel after the game (true story). I would like to point out that bus fare in the city is a thrifty $1.75… To all you aspiring criminals out there, I would strongly recommend that if you are going to commit a crime and risk criminal sanction, you set your sights above the $2 mark…

In any event, having witnessed 2 muggings (both on and off the court), I decided it was time to catch up on some sleep. In my continued love affair with the Indianapolis Westin, however, I returned to find that my air conditioning was broken. I therefore had the pleasure of waking at 4:00 a.m. in a lather of sweat that made me feel like Rita McNeil at a hot yoga class. Taking matters into my own hands, I went down the hall to get some ice, returning to find that I had not brought my key. I therefore made my way to the hotel lobby in my boxers and sandals, carrying a bucket of ice, where I was informed by hotel staff that I was not “properly attired”. Having listened intently to my views on their hotel and their city, the desk staff were kind enough to offer to send someone to let me back into my room and to fix my A/C if I would be so kind as to provide them with ID. Resisting the urge to whip out my johnson, I advised them that the ID that I normally kept in the cock pouch in my boxers was in my hotel room. They therefore arranged for a police escort back to my room, where I was asked to hand over my ID for inspection. Also a true story…

In conclusion, based on my experiences to date, I am ranking Indianapolis as the 35th best American city I have visited (right behind Bald Knob, Arkansas and Spread Eagle, Wisconsin).