Who among us doesn’t enjoy a little creative trademark/copyright infringement?  Maybe it was the time you bought that ‘Magnasonic‘ TV and got it all the way home before realizing it did NOT combine the best traits of both the Magnavox and Panasonic brands.  Or maybe you’re a Chinese person who bought a ‘Chery‘ car because it sounds like ‘Chevy’ with your accent and you’re desperate to embrace American culture.  Either way, you probably thought to yourself: “Oh, those lovable scamps!” and resigned yourself to watching TV as a curtain of black fuzz descends across the screen, or dying in a car crash caused by the fact that your car is entirely made out of melamine.

That’s how I feel when I leave my desk and descend into the food court to buy lunch at the Soup Nutsy.

That’s right, I said Soup Nutsy.  ‘Cause you can damn well sure the Third Reich’s lawyers would be drafting up cease and desist letters macht schnell if this enterprising Canadian fast food purveyor deigned to call the place the Soup Nazi.  Or maybe they were worried about turning off the lucrative ‘holocaust denier’ market segment.

Besides, ‘Soup Nutsy’ makes more sense anyway.  It’s like they’re saying, ‘Hey! Come over here! We’re kinda crazy about soup! Just try this squash and Jack Daniels vomit blend!”

Now, before you get on the phone to Viacom or Larry David or whoever owns the rights to the idea for the “Soup Nazi” character that made it cool to like soup again, consider how the ‘Soup Nutsy’ people have carefully crafted a business model to skirt around trademark/copyright laws.  To begin with, the actual ‘Soup Nutsy’ is clearly distinguishable from “The Soup Nazi”:

The Soup Nazi:

The Soup Nutsy:

As you can see, while The Soup Nazi is a vaguely Middle Eastern man who is somewhat stocky and intimidating.  Conversely, the Soup Nutsy is a snide and self-satisfied Frenchman dressed in all yellow.  Clearly not the same person.

Then there’s the issue of the actual soup on offer.  According to Seinfeld lore, The Soup Nazi’s soup was so good that customers would be willing to be subject to The Soup Nazi’s menacing demeanour and punishing rules just for a chance to taste his delicious mulligatawny soup. 

The Soup Nutsy, on the other hand, features watery blends of nondescript vegetables and nary else (did we say meat? Sorry, that should read “meat essences”).  They wouldn’t sell any soup if it weren’t for the clamouring masses of office employees looking for something to eat quickly before running back to their offices so that they can work on new ideas for how to sell mortgages to people who can’t afford them.  It’s shitty soup, and if you put a bowl of it beside the soup your mom used to make before she moved out, then you wouldn’t want to touch the stuff.  Also, you’d probably cry.

I know the marketplace is devoid of new ideas, but stealing from TV is not a recipe for long-term success.  What’s next, America?  The Regal Bagel?  America’s Funniest Home Remedies? Hamsterdam spiral cut Virginia Crack ham?  WKRPB&J?  Actually, a Johnny Fever-based chain of sports bars isn’t a bad idea.