We here at Food Court Lunch always take the view that if you are going to do something, do it right. We take this view, but generally fail to apply to our careers, friendships, driving, masturbation, horseback riding or anything we actually try. We’re fucking lazy, is what I am saying. Also, we talk a lot of shit. Also, we constantly steal from “Take A Penny” jars. Wow, this confessional is becoming pretty cathartic.

Because we are such sloths, we find it inspiring when someone actually plans on doing something then properly follows through. It’s an incredible motivator to us. Sure, we follow it up with brutal green-eyed jealously and general cattiness, but underneath it all we are impressed. Take the act of invading the field during an athletic event. You could just leap on to the field, run around shirtless and wait to get tackled by security. You could do that, but why? Why go halfway when you could get on the field and PUT IT IN THE BACK OF THE FUCKING NET!!!! BOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!

Well done, bloated and pasty Englishmen. Well done.