Sun 4 Oct 2009
The Punchable Faces of…The 2009 Toronto Blue Jays!
Posted by Gourmet Spud under Gourmet Spud's reflectionsThe 2009 season officially ended for the Jays on Sunday, with the team ending up exactly where most people thought they would at the start of the season - fourth in the A.L. East, well under .500, nowhere near a playoff spot. But even though the team played pretty well to expectations, this year still felt like a big disappointment. The shockingly hot start followed by the plummet off a cliff, the continued highway robbery being perpetrated annually by Vernon Wells, the bittersweet (probable) end to the Blue Jay career of arguably the best player in team history; all of these things combined to make 2009 harder to take than it should have been. And that’s before taking into account the end to the tenure of a former-golden-boy/current-goat-boy G.M., and the near mutiny of the manager in October.
Worst of all, next year doesn’t look any better. Where does the team go from here? Doc’s all but gone. The legendary coach is now a lame duck. Wells will continue to put up Ed Sprague-type numbers while chewing up an ungodly chunk of payroll through 2014(!). And I’m pretty sure the new G.M. served me Saganaki last week on the Danforth. You think attendance sucked this year? In 2010, we are going to have to start spelling “Rogers Centre” with a Big “O”.
It’s probably best not to think about it. Time to put baseball out of mind until March, and hope those rumors about a big bump in payroll come true (fat chance). But before we say farewell, let’s take one parting shot at this mess of a ball club. Actually, let’s take 14:
The “Thanks For the $120 Mil, Ted, You Won’t (Live To) Regret This”
The “I Wonder If It’s Possible to Hit Into a Quadruple Play?”
The “Gleefully Stalking a Pigeon”
The “2009 MVP”
The “Pirate of the Carri-hasbeen”
The “Seconds Before the Headbutt”
The “Meet Your 2010 Season Ticket Holders. All of Them.”
The “That’s Number 7! Free Pizza for All!”
The “Fellas? Am I Getting Close to the Pinata?”
The “2 Out of 3 - Loser Tells Cito We Feel Sad”
The “My Name is Rodrigo Barajas. You Stranded my Runner. Prepare to Die.”
The “Right Side of Red Sox Infield, 2011″
The “Did I Remember to Water the Ficus?”
The “And Now/The End Is Near/And So We Face…”
***
Excuse me. There must be something in my eye.
/bites knuckle
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More Punchable Faces:
October 5th, 2009 at 12:19 am
[…] hope those rumors about a big bump in payroll come true (fat chance)," writes the hilarious Food Court Lunch. "But before we say farewell, let’s take one parting shot at this mess of a ball club. […]
October 5th, 2009 at 6:34 am
Little known fact: The firing of JP can make up the difference for 70 million in payroll between the Yankees and Red Sox. True story.
October 5th, 2009 at 7:00 am
You missed the “I should have been retired or released but since I have pictures of JP screwing a goat and Cito waring only a soiled diaper, I will screw the jays over by having the lowest VORP on the team and somehow still be batting in the heart of the order for some of the last half of the season”
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/gallery/enlargePhoto?id=3950712&story=3950485
October 5th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Even the World’s Fastest Grounds Crew had an off-year. I keep detailed records of their times, and the kid who rakes third completely phoned the last half of the season in.
October 5th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
You bastards.
October 5th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
@ Spud
He had already decided that he was going to be moving to New York over the winter, so there was no need to stress himself.
October 8th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
[…] Spud gives the old punchable faces routine to his Jays. [FCL] […]
January 11th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
[…] The 2009 Toronto Blue Jays […]