…and Hockey Satan (that means you, Mr. Bettman),

We are not hockey experts, but we don’t think that this was an accident.

We pray to you for swift and furious justice against Jesse Boulerice of the Flyers for his attempt to feed his hockey stick to Ryan Kesler of the Canucks (wow, that sounded like awkward double-entendre – unintentional). We suppose that you could give him a massive suspension, but we think a more fitting punishment is outlined in the video below. If Aaron Downey can manage another 99 swings, we think that the scales of justice will be balanced.

P.S. He’s done this before. He’s a complete asshat.

Yours humbly,

The Food Court Lunch Team