Tue 31 Mar 2009
A critical look at the headlines that shape our world
Nickelback is the Real Deal; Wait - What?
Did you know that there’s a Canadian equivalent of the Grammys? And did you also know that Nickelback routinely sweeps all of the awards? These amazing facts and more in our new guidebook, ‘Things That Make Me Ashamed to be Canadian’.
Pakistani Taliban Claim Police Academy Attack: ‘Mahonedinejad!!!!’
Looking back, isn’t strange that of all of the stereotypes chronicled in the Police Academy movies, muslims were spared? Seems like a bit of an oversight for a series billing itself as ‘the voice of a generation’.
Khmer Rouge Prison Chief Takes Stand: ‘Mistakes Were Made’
“What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry for torturing and killing thousands of innocent prisoners in sadistic rituals? Okay, I’m sorry. Now can I please get on with my life? Geez.”
Taliban Chief Vows ‘Amazing’ Attack on Washington ‘Soon’; Fox News is ‘Skeptical’
I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but should relying on the fact that the head of the Taliban is apparently a procrastinator really be our primary defence strategy?
Happy Ending Meal: Pimp Paid Teen Prostitute with Chicken Nuggets
Call me an entrepreneur, but I see an opportunity for this young lady to cut out the middle man. Or cut the middle man. Either way, she needs to deal with this ‘pimp’ character.
Brazilian President Says Credit Crisis Caused by ‘White People with Blue Eyes’; Is Apparently Unaware of Worldwide Zionist Banking Cabal
Just because I packaged together mortgages handed out willy-nilly to low-income individuals who couldn’t afford them and then sold and resold them as investment vehicles to institutional investors, now you want to lay the blame on me when those mortgages go into default causing a worldwide credit collapse? Well excuse me for living.
Russian Fashion Industry in Crisis as Demand for Collarless Dress Shirts Plummets
Well, at least they’ll always have that lucrative figure skating uniform market cornered.
And finally, a short video for those of you who enjoy watching people get startled. This may or may not be Jack White or Gary Glitter. Awesome.
March 31st, 2009 at 9:25 am
I’ve had just about enough of your Nickelback bashing! They are this generation’s NKOTB, without the sex appeal…
March 31st, 2009 at 10:55 am
I knew Al Borlin was versatile, but the Taliban? “I don’t think so, America.”
Canadian flags should be at halfstaff when Nickelback is the country’s musical talent.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I will not tolerate your Nickelback slagging. As the wise Mr. Kroeger often says, “millions of people can’t be wrong.” Oh, sorry, that was not Mr. Kroeger. It was a Mr. Hitler in 1939. My misquote.
March 31st, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Blue, your post has driven off every single one of our commenters. Except for Sully, of course. Good old prisoner-in-his-own-home Sully.
March 31st, 2009 at 8:28 pm
@ Butter Chicken: I just thought all of his headlines were topnotch, though I am sure Brown is still working on them to show him up.
Also Semper is in New Zealand and he can’t access FCL because it has “offensive or malicious content”. Which is surprising because they gave us The Flight of the Conchords.
April 1st, 2009 at 11:13 am
I am actually busy rewriting Jose’s latest misadventure. Gourmet Spud’s ego has gotten so big it’s almost as if he’s just a giant head on a pair of shoes.