As you are probably aware, April is “Celebrate Diversity Month“, a month-long celebration aimed at “opening dialogues that foster an appreciation of the differences that separate us as well as the similarities that unite us.”

Food Court Lunch has been described as a progressive* blog.  That’s why we’re kicking off Celebrate Diversity Month (not to be associated with “Celebrex Liability Month“ or “Celebrate Asset Diversity Month“) early with our first annual Food Court Lunch Diversity Quiz.  Answer the questions below honestly to get a true picture of your racial and gender tolerance level.  We’ll post the results in a future post (or hand them over to the authorities).

  1. Do You Believe in God?
    • Occasionally
    • Yes, but not yours
    • Yes.  I am Margaret
    • No. I am gay. 
  2. Mexicans are:
    • Industrious lawn maintenance experts
    • Unappreciative of Spanish, and then American, colonization
    • Stealing jobs that no self-respecting American in their right mind would want; or
    • Lovingly known as ‘wetbacks’
  3. Pick one of each:
    • Women Are:  
      • Entitled to equal pay, or deserve the security of a loving family
      • Still underrepresented in politics, or have shrill voices that anger voters
      • Objectified in rap videos, or should be happy they’re getting work at all
  4.  The Problem with Our Inner Cities is:
    • Traffic-related
    • Drug traffic-related
    • Raffi-related (smug bastard)
  5. True or False:  All Irish people are drunken Leprechauns
  6. The Problem with Muslims is _______________________________.
  7. Black People:
    • Drive like this
    • Talk loudly during movies
    • wear flamboyant, and sometimes non-gun-appropriate clothes; or
    • are filled with fast-twitch muscle fibers, which allow them to excel at certain sports
  8. Which Incident Would be Most Likely to Destroy your Family:
    • Your daughter dating a black man
    • Your daughter dating a mentally retarded man
    • Your mentally retarded daughter dating a black man, or
    • An expose of your meth-fueled burl addiction
  9. You’ve Been Turned Down for a Job.  Your First Reaction is to:
    • Assault the service station manager
    • Scream racial epithets at the tiny Korean woman doing the hiring at the Recycling plant
    • Sarcastically proclaim that “I guess equal opportunity doesn’t apply to hermaphrodites” and then storm out of the massage parlour; or
    • Re-evaluate your life course thus far
  10. Which of the Following is True About the Jews:
    • They operate a sophisticated banking cabal dead set on dominating the world’s financial markets
    • They killed Jesus
    • They shoot missiles at A-rabs, so y’all don’t know what to think; or
    • They unfairly exclude hard-working Christians from the Kosher products business
  11. Pick one:
    • French People are cheese-eating surrender monkeys, or miserables phoques

*As in, “progressively misogynistic“