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The life of a point guard in the NBA is a very good one. But with it also can come much pressure. Much frustration.

Forwards who no do what you tell. Centers who no stand where you say. Guards who roll, when instead they should pick.

A point guard needs a place where he can go. To get away. To find peace.

This…

(makes sweeping gesture behind him)

…is where I come to relax.

(Pulls grass stalk from ground, begins chewing it)

For many years, the Calderons have had pigs. So to be around them makes me feel as if I were a boy again, happy and free. Running through the farm, a feed bucket in one hand, bouncing the basketball in the second. It was here I learned to organize. Here I learned to distribute evenly.

Here I learned to lead.

The pig is a very noble animal. Very intelligent. But very obedient. Jose respects them.

And in turn, they respect Jose.

I tell you some things you may not know about pigs.

(Puts hands in pockets, begins slowly walking grounds)

Pigs enjoy walnuts. 

Pigs do not sweat. Never. This, I truly admire.

Interestingly, Muslims and Jews do not eat pigs. This is all I can say to this, for I promise Mister Colan-yelo to never again discuss religions or race.

Pigs are more smart than dogs. They will learn their names very quickly. Watch.

Jorge! Jorge, come here!

(An unusually hairy pig runs over. It lies down on its back. Jose rubs its belly)

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This is Jorge the Seventh, my favourite pig. He is only three months old, and yet he already knows to come when I call. Good boy, Jorge. Now go and play with you friends.

(Pig squeals excitedly, and runs away)

Pigs can run a mile in seven minutes. Which if you ask me, qualify them to be back-up center in the NBA.

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Pigs have sensitive noses. And sensitive souls.

Pigs are very clean. And unlike what people think, they eat at a reasonable pace.

Those are my favourite things about pigs.

Do you want to know what my favourite thing about Canada is?

In Canada, mangalica ham gets $120 per pound.

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At the end of each day, Jose has to get paid.

______

 Pic by stout vegetarian 289.