Tue 25 Nov 2008
Wondering what Cee-lo, that joyfully pudgy alumnus of the Goodie Mob and Gnarls Barkley has been up to the last few months? We wondered the same thing. That is, until I accidently turned on the 2008 Grey Cup while flipping through infomercials on Sunday afternoon.
Nice tackle, number 42! Hey! Did you see the name on the back of that guy’s jersey? What does it say? Labinjo?!?! That’s got to be a pseudonym. Well, no wonder! Look at the guy. That’s clearly that black fellow from the Charles Barkley cover band!
The resemblance is uncanny.
And in case you were wondering, Cee-lo didn’t just sneak into Canada’s most treasured football game; he completely dominated it. 4 knockdowns*? A sack during a crucial drive by the Alouettes**? Crazy! He truly was, as we say in Canada, un Faiseur de Difference***.
It’s difficult to say whether Cee-lo’s contribution was what enabled the Calgary Stampeders to overcome the Montreal home crowd and the Alouettes’ vaunted passing game, but one thing’s for sure - nobody’s laughing at the short pudgy guy with the squeeky voice anymore.
Sarcasm Legend:
* For our American readers, “knockdown” is not a quaint Canadian way of saying “sack”.
** Yes, an “Alouette” is a non-violent songbird with easy-to-pluck feathers.
*** We don’t actually say this.
In other news, astronauts drink piss.
November 25th, 2008 at 9:56 am
In other news, Moises Alou is fascinated
November 25th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Pee Hands
/just wanted to see if I know how to link
November 25th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Think this is what you’ve got to do:
< a href= " url " > Pee Hands < /a >
Just get rid of all the extra spaces I put in. However, note that this only works if the text you wish displayed contains the words “Pee” and “Hands”. In any other situation, you’re on your own.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:44 am
No, I’m pretty sure I saw the “pee hands” command in my HTML For Dummies book…
November 25th, 2008 at 11:05 am
So Calgary won the Grey Coup? That’s super.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:30 am
IATL:
Damn right it’s super. Now Calgary is finally allowed back into the Arena Football League.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:35 am
When reached for comment, a NASA spokesperson said, “Sure, the urine recycler doesn’t prevent Space Shuttles from blowing up but it’s still pretty neat if you think about it.”
November 25th, 2008 at 11:43 am
NASA is now looking for astronauts who are willing to drink urine. Top candidates include a re-animated Gandhi and a series of R. Kelly’s ex-lovers.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:43 am
“You know we’re sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?”
November 25th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Pee hands
/ Amazing what comes up when you type famous urine drinkers on google, apparently Madonna pees on her feet, though really this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Your move A-Rod
November 25th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
apparently I forgot a / after .com , I am the John Gochnaur of Links
November 25th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
For our American readers, “knockdown” is not a quaint Canadian way of saying “sack”.
Ok, but what the fuck is a “Yukon Dew Me”* and a “timbit”? I am honestly concerned about what my cousin is getting into.
*The Canadian version of “Me so horny. Me love you long time.”(?)
November 25th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Dubs:
Just a guess, but anything involving the Yukon usually includes gasoline, a paper bag and some kind of inquest.
November 25th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
That sounds a lot like a David Guterson novel - minus the gasoline and paper bag. he used boats, a very large penis and good old fashion American racism. Classic Guterson.