(Lockeroom. Browns Stadium. Cleveland, OH. Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow Jr. stand looking over something, laughing)

Edwards: (giggling) This is going to be hilarious.

Winslow Jr.: Quiet, quiet. Here he comes.

(Brady Quinn enters lockeroom)

Quinn: Hey guys. What’s so funny?

Winslow Jr.: (barely stifles laughter)

Edwards: (to Winslow Jr.) Shut up. (to Quinn) Say, Brady. Did you hear the good news?

Quinn: (excited) You mean…I’m starting on Sunday?

Edwards: Even better! (throws magazine at Quinn)

Quinn: (startled) What the…

Edwards: Christmas came early! 

(Edwards and Winslow Jr. laugh hysterically)

Quinn: Oh, real mature, guys.

Winslow Jr.: Hey…maybe you guys can finally take the relationship public!

Quinn: Jerks.

(Jamal Lewis enters lockeroom)

Lewis: What’s going on in here? Go on, you two idiots, skedaddle!

(Edwards and Winslow scurry out of lockeroom, laughing uncontrollably)

Lewis: Those two bugging you again, champ?

Quinn: Aw, it’s okay Jamal. I’m used to it.

Lewis: No, it’s not okay. You’ve got to start standing up for yourself, man.

Quinn: What’s the point? It’s not just them. Everyone is always making fun of me. Teammates, fans, those assholes over at KSK…

Lewis: That’s because you let them. Listen, take it from me - you either start fighting back, or you’ll always get treated like a straight punk.

Quinn: I don’t know.

Lewis: Well, I do know. Look, man, when I was sent to prison, you better believe I was a target. Everybody wanted to take a shot at the millionare NFL running back. I must have been in a fight a day the first week I was there.

Quinn: That sucks.

Lewis: You’re damn right it sucked! But did I just sit back and take it? Hell no! I may not have won every fight, but it was always at least a split decision!

Quinn: Wow. That’s amazing.

Lewis: It’s not that amazing. You’ve just got to make a decision - are you going to be a man…or a bitch?

Quinn: (stands up) You know what…I’m going to be a man!

Lewis: That’s what I’m talking about!

Quinn: I’m going to go out there and punch Braylon and Kellen right in their big yaps!

Lewis: Attaboy!

Quinn: Thanks, Jamal.

Lewis: No problem. But hey…what’s your hurry, man?

Quinn: Huh?

Lewis: I’m saying, why do you have to go and take care of that right now? I mean, we’ve got this whole big lockeroom to ourselves…

Quinn: I…I don’t understand.

Lewis: Look, man, you don’t have to play coy with ol’ Jamal. I’ve been in the joint. I know how things go down.

Quinn: How what goes down?

Lewis: (puts hand on Quinn’s shoulder) Come on…don’t make me spell it out.

Quinn: What the…Jamal!?! Not you too!

Lewis: What?

Quinn: Jamal, I’m not gay!

Lewis: (pause) Really?

Quinn: Yes, really.

Lewis: But all those pictures…are you sure?

Quinn: OF COURSE I’M SURE!

Lewis: Hmm…

Quinn: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go tell the Bobbsey Twins what’s what.

Lewis: Hey…not so fast there, buddy. Hold on a minute.

Quinn: What? But I’ve got to go and…

Lewis: Listen, man, I tried to do this like a gentleman and all, but…

Quinn: But what?

Lewis: Look - fighting wasn’t the only thing I did in prison. I also developed certain…tastes.

Quinn: You…you don’t mean…

Lewis: I do mean. And your pretty little ass ain’t going anywhere.

Quinn: But…but I don’t understand! What was with the whole “stand up for yourself” talk?

Lewis: I just thought you’d look cute, all angry and riled up like that.

Quinn: Well…well I’m not going to let you do it! I’m going to fight back!

Lewis: Heh heh. Yeah, that’s it. Puff out that big chest of yours, big boy.

Quinn: (silent)

Lewis: Seriously, get your ass in the shower.