(8:20 p.m. Last Sunday evening. Man and woman stand at woman’s front porch)

Him: I had a great time tonight.

Her: So did I.

Him: (mocking tone) “Um, I’m sorry sir, I thought you said you wanted a rum and a coke.”

Her: (laughing) Oh my god. He was the worst waiter ever.

Him: Definitely.

Her: (smiles)

Him: So listen…

Her: Don’t…

Him: No, I have to. I’m so sorry I was such an idiot.

Her: It’s fine…

Him: No, I mean it. Your niece only gets baptized once. It was completely irresponsible of me.

Her: Well…in your defence, I’ve never seen you that hungover.

Him: I know. And it was unforgiveable.

Her: …

Him: So…

Her: So…what?

Him: Come on. You’re going to make me beg?

Her: Well…

Him: Well?

Her: …alright. I guess you’re forgiven.

Him: Thank you.

(They hug)

Him: You let me off too easy – you could have milked this for at least one more dinner.

Her: Hey now! (punches his arm) Don’t make me change my mind.

Him: Kidding! Kidding!

(Both laugh. They hug again)

Her: Thank you for tonight.

Him: You’re very welcome.

(He surreptitiously looks at his watch: 8:30 p.m.

Him: (under breath) Oh no! (to her) Well, uh, I should probably get go…

Her: Oh! I almost forgot! I got the pictures back from the baptism!

Him: Oh…

Her: You want to come in and look at them?

Him: Uhhh…well…

Her: (smile fades, wide-eyed) You know…the pictures from the baptism you missed?!?

Him: Um…of course! Of course I want to see them! I mean…I am the godfather, right?

Her: I’ll put on some coffee.

Him: (sneaks look at watch, bites down hard on lip as he walks in door)


(8:58 p.m. Man and woman are again standing at front door)

Him: Alright, love you.

Her: Love you too. G’night.

Him: Night.

(They kiss goodnight. He walks to car)

Her: (waves)

Him: (waves)

Her: (closes door)

Him: (sprints to car, screeches down street)


(9:22 p.m. Man bursts in front door of his apartment, scrambles to computer, furiously logs on)

Him: Come on, commmmeeee onnnnnnn….

(Logs on to Fantasy site)

Computer screen: With your third pick…

Computer screen: …you have auto-selected:


Computer screen: Todd Heap, TE, BAL.

Him: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Instant message pops up)

BoatsAndHoes: Where the hell have you been???

Him: (drops to knees)

BoatsAndHoes: Should have pre-ranked, dude.