Tue 2 Sep 2008
(8:20 p.m. Last Sunday evening. Man and woman stand at woman’s front porch)
Him: I had a great time tonight.
Her: So did I.
Him: (mocking tone) “Um, I’m sorry sir, I thought you said you wanted a rum and a coke.”
Her: (laughing) Oh my god. He was the worst waiter ever.
Him: So listen…
Him: No, I have to. I’m so sorry I was such an idiot.
Her: It’s fine…
Him: No, I mean it. Your niece only gets baptized once. It was completely irresponsible of me.
Her: Well…in your defence, I’ve never seen you that hungover.
Him: I know. And it was unforgiveable.
Him: Come on. You’re going to make me beg?
Her: …alright. I guess you’re forgiven.
Him: Thank you.
Him: You let me off too easy – you could have milked this for at least one more dinner.
Her: Hey now! (punches his arm) Don’t make me change my mind.
Him: Kidding! Kidding!
(Both laugh. They hug again)
Her: Thank you for tonight.
Him: You’re very welcome.
(He surreptitiously looks at his watch: 8:30 p.m.)
Him: (under breath) Oh no! (to her) Well, uh, I should probably get go…
Her: Oh! I almost forgot! I got the pictures back from the baptism!
Her: You want to come in and look at them?
Her: (smile fades, wide-eyed) You know…the pictures from the baptism you missed?!?
Him: Um…of course! Of course I want to see them! I mean…I am the godfather, right?
Her: I’ll put on some coffee.
Him: (sneaks look at watch, bites down hard on lip as he walks in door)
(8:58 p.m. Man and woman are again standing at front door)
Him: Alright, love you.
Her: Love you too. G’night.
(They kiss goodnight. He walks to car)
Her: (closes door)
Him: (sprints to car, screeches down street)
(9:22 p.m. Man bursts in front door of his apartment, scrambles to computer, furiously logs on)
Him: Come on, commmmeeee onnnnnnn….
(Logs on to Fantasy site)
Computer screen: With your third pick…
Computer screen: …you have auto-selected:
Computer screen: Todd Heap, TE, BAL.
(Instant message pops up)
BoatsAndHoes: Where the hell have you been???
Him: (drops to knees)
BoatsAndHoes: Should have pre-ranked, dude.