The eve of the 2008/09 NBA season is upon us, and Toronto is aglow with optimism about their newly refurbished Raptors.  Will the addition of perennial all-star Jermaine O’Neal turn the Dinos into a defensive powerhouse, or will O’Neal tear an ACL during the singing of the national anthems?   Will the suits actually start coming to games to do more than just swill Merlot and remark about how tall everybody is, or will the loss of all-time homer Chuck Swirsky result in levels of apathy seldom seen since the Harold Ballard days? It’s hard to say.

One thing’s for sure: Vince Carter is an assface. 

You know the story by now: The Raptors draft Vince, Toronto embraces Vince’s high-flying act, Vince momentarily propels Raptors to previously-unimaginable heights, then Vince gets bored with whole “team” concept and stops trying, forcing the Raptors to trade him for Alonzo Mourning and the draft rights for Ernest Borgnine.  Make no mistake: Vince Carter is the most hated athlete ever to pass through Toronto’s golden gates.  We boo him as loudly as our Canadian decorum will allow every time he touches the ball.  We even (gasp!) pray for him to be injured.  In short, we want to punch Vince Carter.  Here’s a quick look at the punchable faces of…Vince Carter!

The “Or maybe you’re the problem, coach.  You ever think of that?”

The “Crunch time? I’ll just take a seat right here, thanks.”

The “Hey! Long Weekend!!!”

The “Hey Mom! Guess who just signed an endorsement deal with Puma!”

The “Playoffs? Who Gives a Fuck! I just got my english media/sociology degree!”

The “Why do they keep yelling ‘Ed O’Bannon’?”

The “My mom said I could wear camo, so we’re gonna do this”

The “Defence? No thanks.  Maybe later.”

The “ARGGGHHHHHHH! THIS HANGNAIL IS KILLING ME!”

More Punchable Faces:

Pigeons

Chad Kroeger

Phil Mickelson

Chris Berman

Nicholas Cage

Brandon Flowers